Taking a Break: September 29-Oct 3

Hey all!

After finishing up on a massive piece about the Christian manosphere this morning, I am beat. The South Dakota Festival of Books is this weekend, and next week I have some vacation time from my regular jobs already planned, so I’m going to take that time to take a vacation away from the blog, too.

Ask Away Wednesday will still happen on Wednesday and I don’t plan on this being a Social Media Vacation, either.

But if there’s one thing this last summer taught me, it’s that I need to take breaks occasionally and allow myself time to just be - meditate, relax, learn some new recipes, catch up on House of Cards and just…be. My mom passed away two months ago yesterday, and I need to slow down a little.

So I’m taking a break. Keep in mind, you can still support me by reserving the I Kissed Patriarchy Goodbye tee shirt over at Teespring!

tr1326 asked:

I have been looking for a quality devotional/devotional app, that lines up with a more inclusive view on the bible and Christianity. I have let life get in the way for me being in the Word and would like something more structured to keep me accountable. Any suggestions? Thanks!

I really don’t know - I don’t use devotional apps, so I wouldn’t even know where to begin. Indeed, the only app I know of is supplied by my former workplace, which is a fairly conservative, neo-Reformed interpretation. So, I wouldn’t go with that if you’re looking for inclusivity.

Readers, any suggestions?

pennypyro said: okay. i just realised you are younger than me.

I’m younger than a lot of people. ;)

For the record, I’m 28, which makes me practically a toddler in some people’s eyes. But age ain’t nothing but a number, baby - unless you are a 45 year old man hitting on a 22 year old because AGE REALLY DOES MATTER IN THOSE SITUATIONS and it is CREEPY.

hallsoferiador asked:

Not an ask... But I wish my wife would've told me about you(r tumblr) long ago. I love your material. I admire your maturity. As someone who grew up a 'Fundie,' I know growing up in such a culture can leave wounds and scars (some of which I may never get over). That you (seem to - at least) have decided to be what you've become after enduring through such an upbringing shows wonderful growth on your part. Congratulations! And keep up the good (and noble) work!

Aw, thank you!

(PS: I love your tumblr name).

Anonymous asked:

What are some of your favorites from the banned books list? And since you grew up in a religious environment, were there books, tv shows, etc that you were forbidden to view and that you wish you'd been able to enjoy?

Ooh boy. I’m gonna answer the second part first. I distinctly remember asking my mom for permission to watch ‘NSync perform on MTV in the 8th grade (it was this performance at the MTV Movie Awards). I also saw Titanic years after everyone else because my parents didn’t want me seeing (female!) nudity - it came out when I was in 6th grade, so I was around 11/12, and I didn’t get to see the whole thing until I was 15.

Most distinctly though, I remember that I wasn’t allowed to listen to Top 40 radio. My parents listened to Sandi Patti and Steven Green and Amy Grant and oldies from when they were in high school. Up until I was about 10 and my parents couldn’t fully monitor our musical intake anymore, I wasn’t allowed to listen to top 40 radio. This meant I missed out on the entire grunge phase, Right Said Fred, Dee-Lite, and C+C Music Factory. I learning the line dance to Achy Breaky Heart in gym class and being totally confused as to why everyone else already knew this song and I had no clue.

But books were the thing my parents never censored - and I mean never. They were both teachers in the public school system and my mother taught English, so books were always and readily available in my home. There were times when I’d pick up something and they’d tell me, “Ehhh, you won’t like that” and that may have been a way of keeping me from certain books, but they still let me read Anne McCaffery (alien sex!) and Stephen King (monster sex!) and John Grisham (lawyer sex!) when I was in middle school, so if there was a leash, it was a long one. And I’m really glad my parents encouraged me to read as much as they did - I entered first grade already reading chapter books while the rest of my classmates were sounding out words in our phonics lessons.

So, Banned Books. Here’s the list of frequently challenged books from the American Library Association. Of the Top 10, for 2013, I’m gonna be honest: I don’t have a favorite on there. If pressed, I’d have to say Looking For Alaska, but the last year of the Greens disappearing into their own navels has left a sour taste in my mouth with regards to any of their books.

But, looking at the list of classics, however, quite a few of my favorites pop up: The Great Gatsby, To Kill a Mockingbird, 1984, Brave New World, The Lord of the Rings, A Clockwork Orange, and Lady Chatterly’s Lover.

In college, I actually took a class on banned books and we read one of my favorite books (that I’ve since lost my copy of!): Fat Kid Rules the World by KL Going.

So, there you have it!

Anonymous asked:

hmm, i'm not even fully sure how to phrase this as a question but just.. i have a ton of trouble with the 'spiritual'. in coming to terms with myself and what i believe on sexuality and gender, i've actually felt CLOSER and more needing of god than ever. the way the bible talks about justice for the marginalized and helpless feels so important in ways i didn't 'get' before.. the problem i guess is.. now i have a hard time having faith that god is there or 'connecting'. (continued in a sec)

(pt2) i used to have bursts where i’d feel comforted and touched.. but it’s just like, it almost never happens now. partly because i guess anxiety makes it hard for me to slow down and relax and depression keeps me from thinking more positively. but anyway, right, question form. do you think its it possible for people who were raised in overly spirtualized lightly charismatic backgrounds to.. get to a place of peace with not needing to have much connection ‘spiritually’..? if that makes sense.

In short, yes.

As I read this question, I wondered if my twin had somehow surfaced somewhere and was asking me questions via Tumblr - because this could be me. I have trouble “letting go” emotionally/spiritually/whatever now because those kind of charismatic experiences are so closely tied to what my politics and beliefs about God were back then and I can’t help but think that I was creating those kinds of worship experiences for myself because I felt like that’s how I should be feeling. And now that I’ve walked away from a lot of the conservative politics associated with my theology then, the idea of worship - in that charismatic, emotional connection way - has disappeared from my life.

But you know what does make me feel spiritual and at peace? When I can email a friend about a problem I’m having and then respond, “I know how that is.” When I message my dear friend Sarah Moon and Dani Kelley on Facebook and they respond with the appropriate Pusheen sticker.


So, yes, I think it’s possible to have spiritual peace without going back to the charismatic spiritual experiences we’ve had in the past. There’s this weird idea in evangelicalism that gives lip service to the idea that we all connect with God in our different ways but actually denies the difference when it comes to spiritual, worshipful experiences. Communion doesn’t have to be bread and grape juice on Sunday morning. It can be popcorn and a movie with your roommate on a Friday.

Oh, and a note: a thing I’ve found helps calm me down for anxiety (besides meds) is meditation - taking deliberate time to stop moving and thinking and just sit and concentrate on relaxing myself. Sometimes, that, too, can be a spiritual experience.

Anonymous asked:

Hi Dianna! Last year, I started to realize that what I believed in my heart didn't remotely line up with mainstream Christianity. After completely falling away from Christianity for several months, I started to see a flicker of hope when I came across arguments against purity culture. I really want to explore what it could look like to be a Christian and all the other things I am (liberal, feminist, etc.) as well. Do you have any recommendations of good books to read as I begin this journey?

I’d recommend preordering mine, as it argues against purity culture from a Christian perspective, but until that one comes out, I’d also recommend picking up Feminism is For Everybody by bell hooks, All About Love (also by hooks), When Sex Goes to School by Kristin Luker, and Radical Love by Cheng.

(Whoops, accidentally hit post too soon!).

reminder for bisexuals


today is bi visibility day. as such, bisexual people will be completely visible for the next 24 hours. this is a bad day to engage in bank heists, ghost impersonations, covert operations for vague yet menacing government agencies, and other common bisexual hobbies that rely upon our powers of invisibility. 

reblog to save a life. 

[psst: I posted about bi visibility day today too]

(via fatbodypolitics)

Anonymous asked:

I know this isn't a question you've probably been asked before but I was wondering if you know of any "women-friendly" churches in the Sioux Falls area? When I say "women-friendly" I mean are okay with women being in leadership (and have women in leadership, like as pastors) and don't push the modesty "doctrine". If you know of any I would love to know (and if you don't that's fine, I'll keep looking).

It really depends on the denomination you’re looking for - there’s not a lot in terms of progressive dialogue. First Congregational UCC downtown (that I’ve been meaning to get to but honestly keep sleeping in because Sunday mornings are like, my one day to relax) has a female pastor named Kathy whom I met at Pride in June and she seems like a lovely, kind lady. I’ve also heard a lot of great things about Spirit of Peace UCC down on 73rd/Cliff, which both affirms women in ministry and LGBT people in communion in the church.

First Lutheran (around the corner from First Congregational downtown) is ELCA and therefore supports in the ordination of women, but that particular church is not necessarily affirming of LGBT peoples (in my experience).

Those are the ones I know of off the top of my head that I would try out. It really depends on your tradition and what you’re particularly looking for in a denomination. We have a few ELCA churches in the area, and that denomination affirms women in ministry so any of those churches would be a good bet. Several Baptist churches in the area (First Baptist, Central Baptist [I know]) have had women in long-term associate pastor roles, but never really let them preach on Sundays, so what they “affirm” and what gets actually practiced can be super iffy, too.

A NOTE: churches to avoid if you are politically or theological progressive are too many to name, but in particular I would avoid the Church at the Gate. That one really likes to pull in young people and be all snazzy, and I went a couple times when I was in college and I got what I can only describe as a cultish vibe from them. Like, I was a conservative Christian at the time and services there made my skin crawl they were so … I don’t even know what it was. At the time, I said it felt like there was a demonic presence, though I don’t know if I’d say that now. All I know is that I got a very off vibe about the place which has scared me ever since.

I’d also hate to say it, but I’d be super iffy about Emmaus Road, too - a new church plant in town. It’s hidden in the pastor’s bio on the site, but it’s a church plant commissioned by Sovereign Grace Ministries - a denomination currently being sued for numerous child sexual abuse cases and alleged cover-ups of those cases by senior pastors. I know good people who go to Emmaus Road and are involved with the worship team there, but the problems with the head of the denomination and the fact that it’s the same denomination that produced the oh-so-lovely Joshua Harris … eek. (And my friends who go/work there know my qualms).

I wish you the best of luck in your search!

Anonymous asked:

I really like your blog. I have a general question, though: what's your opinion on chastity?

If you choose to be celibate/chaste/abstinent for yourself, having considered carefully and weighed all your options, I have zero problem with it. For many people, it is the right choice.

If you decide that because it is the right choice for you, then it must be the right choice for everyone and that people who don’t follow your particular interpretation of it are going to hell, then I’ve got a massive problem with that.

Choose chastity if it is the right choice for you. But do not force and coerce people into chastity through lying to them about the “consequences” of sex outside of marriage or by threatening them with hell. That sort of approach does nothing to create a healthy sexual ethic. Instead, such “ethics” operate by fear and coercion and shame - which is not of God.

catchusthefoxes said: Have you ever thought about attempting to find a different term to mean the same thing as “Patriarchy”? I wonder how intellectual and academic and apt a term it is at trying amalgamize structures of oppression for easy consumption.


There actually exists a term for that called “Kyriarchy,” but for various reasons, I went with Patriarchy for the shirt, mainly as a response to courtship and purity culture, which is highly patriarchal.

I have to mentally, consciously force myself to compliment the girls in my daycare on how smart they are, how good they are at solving problems. I have to mentally, consciously force myself to respond to the little boys in my daycare without sending the message that “that’s how boys are.” I’ve got the “no hitting, no touching without consent, stop when they say stop” stuff down pat. I am the “you will respect it when they say no” police. But I’m still, unconsciously, slipping into gendered stereotypes, especially when the girls separate into playing house and the boys are wrestling on the lawn.

Let everyone you see know that you’ve given up on the patriarchal, restrictive, virginity-focused purity culture with this provocative tee-shirt, playing on the title of Joshua Harris’ famous courtship guide, I Kissed Dating Goodbye.
Profits from the tee goes to support the ongoing work of Dianna E. Anderson, author of the new book dismantling purity culture: Damaged Goods: New Perspectives on Christian Purity, including launching a podcast, website support, and other hosting costs.
[Click the picture or click here]

Let everyone you see know that you’ve given up on the patriarchal, restrictive, virginity-focused purity culture with this provocative tee-shirt, playing on the title of Joshua Harris’ famous courtship guide, I Kissed Dating Goodbye.

Profits from the tee goes to support the ongoing work of Dianna E. Anderson, author of the new book dismantling purity culture: Damaged Goods: New Perspectives on Christian Purity, including launching a podcast, website support, and other hosting costs.

[Click the picture or click here]